


How About This, Bitch?

by DittyWrites



Series: My Shiny Teeth And Me [4]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Fluff, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Mild Language, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 17:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/pseuds/DittyWrites
Summary: An invitation to a Halloween party goes awry as Eddie struggles to find a costume. It's just his luck he has a shapeshifting alien symbiote who loved him enough to help, eh? Not quite.





	How About This, Bitch?

**Author's Note:**

> Still getting to grips with this new pairing and there's no easier way to do that than snarky fluff. Feedback, as always, is loved and appreciated!
> 
> I accept requests over at acapelladitty.tumblr.com xx

Staring into the full-length mirror, a frown marred Eddies' forehead as his eyes moved to sweep across the clothes which littered the room. Why Annie thought inviting _him_ to her swanky Halloween party would be a good idea was beyond him and, thus far, his attempts at finding something to wear left him with a feeling that he might go insane.

He did not have time to go out and buy a costume and his regular closet was really letting him down. He was a boring guy. Hoodies. Jeans. Nothing which could be thrown together to make something interesting.

 **This is boring.** The voice within his head snarled at him. **We are bored! Let's do something else.**

Oh good.

Venom had been virtually silent so far, allowing Eddie to fret on his own over what he was going to do, but apparently his patience had finally snapped.

“Venom,” Eddie muttered, rubbing his temples with the tips of his fingers in a vague attempt to hold back the oncoming headache, “I'm not going to tell you again. We need to have a costume for Annies' party or we're not going to be able to g-”

**Stupid human customs! Stupid human rules! Fuck rules. Annie will not send you away if you arrive at her door. She likes us too much.**

“She likes _you_ too much. I'm probably in the bad books for something. Besides. It's. Not. The Point.” Gritting his teeth, Eddie took a calming breath. “We need to make an effort. A costume is happening so shut up and accept it.”

All he got was a petulant hiss in response.

“You could help out you know? Instead of being a little bitch about it? You're a shapeshifting alien goo. Why don't you make yourself useful, Ven?”

 **I don't know what costumes are!** Venom hollered within his mind, the frustration causing Eddie to wince as it reverberated around his head. **How can I help when I don't know? Stupid, Eddie.**

Picking up a nearby magazine he had been handed outside a shifty-looking pop-up Halloween store, Eddie held it aloft for his partner to take and it only took a second for two tendrils to slither out from his shoulders and take the magazine from his grasp. Feeling another emergence from his head, Eddie glanced again in the mirror and was greeted by the sight of Venoms' head atop his own as it rifled through the magazine.

 **Okay.** Venom offered, launching the magazine across the room until it made a satisfying thud against the wall. **We have some ideas.**

Without giving any warning, the feeling of being enveloped hit Eddie as Venom emerge all over him within the blink of an eye, covering every inch of his body aside from a bare band across his face where his eyes lay. Turning again to the mirror, Eddie was surprised to find himself resembling a not-too-shabby ninja.

“A ninja?”

 **It was in the book.** Pride weaving through his tone, Venom was clearly pleased with his own abilities. **We can wear this to the party.**

“Hmm,” uncertain of how much he liked the outfit, Eddie was hesitant, “it's a really good costume, love,” he quickly offered, feeling the thrum of discontent his hesitation had caused, “but I don't know if it's really _us_.”

 **Oh. Okay then.** The shortness of his words giving away his displeasure, Venoms' hoarse voice cut across him quickly. **How about this, bitch?**

Again, Eddie found himself in the thrall of his beloved as his body was held perfectly still while the black slime which surrounded him shifted into something entirely new.

Even before he looked in the mirror, Eddie knew he was being played for a fool.

“For fu-” he started but cut himself off as he stood dumbly before his reflection. His entire body was encased by Venom who had even went as far as to fashion a high set of heels beneath his feet, elevating him a few inches taller than he should be. Atop his head sat two perfectly even cat ears which protruded from his hair with no hint of a band holding them in place.

Absolutely skin-tight, the black material covered his entire body with the exception of some slits which went up the outside of his leg, exposing his outer thighs, and a deep 'v' which travelled down his chest until it hit-

“Oh god you've even given me tits.”

Running his hands along the thick mounds which had miraculously appeared with the costume, Eddie bit back his laughter even as a flush of embarrassment caused his cheeks to redden. A sexy cat. Points for being unexpected, he supposed.

“I don't think I can wear this, love.”

 **If you're going to be a pussy then you can dress like a pussy.** Venom bit back, unable to keep his amusement from rumbling through their chest as he viewed his masterpiece. **You said I was to help so you are MINE to dress. I think it suits you.**

“This is a ladies costume, it's not really _for_ me.”

A pause.

**Ladies? Then it really suits you.**

“Oh haha.” Eddie rolled his eyes, twisted his body to examine his perfectly sculpted ass. “I don't actually hate it.” He confessed. The warm feeling of his beloved surrounding his body gave him a sense of familiarity which he absolutely loved. Plus, even he had to admit that he looked goddamn great as Venom hugged his body in a very flattering manner.

 **I like it very much.** Venom purred. **Very much, Eddie.**

“You stop that,” feeling the low coil of arousal which his partner was trying to ignite within his gut, Eddie slammed his hands on his hips in defiance, “we don't have time for any fun. Try something else on me?”

**Fine.**

Before Eddie could even blink, he was again dressed.

There was no holding back the bark of laughter this time as he observed Venoms' latest attempt.

“Really?!”

The robe which hung from his body was shapeless and Eddie could feel his naked body beneath it as his bare legs rubbed together. It had been pulled in slightly at the waist by a black rope-like belt and the dark sleeves hung loosely from his arms, barley covering his wrists.

The highlight of the outfit, undoubtedly, was the perfectly-shaped collar, the centre of which was white and made up of closely-knit sharpened teeth, which Venom had crafted around his thick neck.

A dog collar made of alien teeth.

That was a sight.

“We're going to hell for this one.” Eddie chuckled. “There's no coming back from this. If old Father O'Connor could see me now.” The old priest had been a neighbour of his for a while. Nice guy, if a little loud with the preaching.

 **This was in the book.** Eddie could feel the smile from within his mind as Venom found his own amusement in Eddies' humoured reaction. **What's so funny? I don't get it.**

“An alien and a guy who hasn't been to church in thirty years dress up as a priest for a pagan holiday.” Holding a hand to his chest, Eddie issued a dry cough as he laughed. “Remind me to explain that one to you later.”

**So we will wear this one to the party?**

“Not today, love. I don't think it's really...good for us.”

Again shooting Venom down, Eddie felt slightly guilty as disappointment tinged his mind and his symbiote disappeared within him fully, leaving him in his underwear once again.

“Most people dress up as things like famous people or...heroes.” His thoughts wandered for a moment. “But we'll find something good soon. I promise.” He soothed.

 **Hrrrrm.** A thoughtful churr rippled through his head and Eddies' curiosity peaked as a stroke of inspiration, not his own, soon followed.

Before he could ask what Venom was thinking, a tightening sensation gripped Eddies' lower half while a creeping warmth spread around his eye area.

**Look, Eddie.**

Following the soft demand, Eddie turned to the full-length mirror and his face split into a joyful grin.

“Now that's what i'm TALKING about, love.”

His entire legs were encased in skin-tight black symbiote. From his ankles to his hips, his lower half looked as though it were being hugged by the worlds tightest dark fabric. That, mixed with the black mask which surrounded his eyes and wound around his head firmly actually made up one decent and suspiciously familiar-looking costume.

“Zorro?” Eddie checked himself out for a moment longer, picturing the ensemble with a white shirt in place of his bare chest and a decent pair of shoes. “How the hell do you even know who Zorro is?”

 **I read your thoughts, dumbass.** Venom answered, having repeated these words numerous times over their time together. **When you mentioned heroes this was the first thing you pictured so it must hold some value. We know you like to be a hero. We would like to be one too.**

“I loved watching the cartoons as a kid.” Eddie shrugged, accepting the explanation and tactfully ignoring the insult. “I used to dress up in an old sheet and use sticks as swords. I was the best Zorro on the block.”

As Eddie recalled his earlier days he was faintly assaulted by nostalgia. His childhood had been rocky at best but there were some good times and playful memories. However, as he reminisced on the fondness such memories brought, a new feeling hit him, a pleasant warmth within his chest which he suspected didn't belong to him.

**We like seeing you as a child. You should think about it more.**

Ahh, Eddie mused, that's what that is.

Venom apparently found his little self...cute.

“Thank you. Maybe I will.” Conceding the point, Eddie ran his hands gently across the black fabric on his hips, stroking Venom with easy affection. “I also think this costume is great, love. I'll wear it if you're willing to keep it up for the full night?”

**Yes, Eddie. Only for you. Will Annie like it too?**

“Definitely.” Eddie nodded.

 **Then we are happy to be a costume for us.** Words which were matched by the feeling of contentment which swept through their body. Truth.

“Awesome! Now I just need to throw on a shirt, some shoes and find a sword and we ar-”

Eddie was cut off by the appearance of a very black, very sharp-looking sword within his hand.

“Now THAT'S awesome!” Giving the weapon a few casual swings, Eddie was giddy with childhood excitement until a touch of his adult sense kicked in. “Might want to make it a little bit less sharp though, love. Don't want to accidentally chop any...bits off people.”

 **I wouldn't mind that.** An obscene lip-smacking, wet noise rattled through their chest as Venom drew his lips together. **A quick snack. Tasty.**

“No.”

 **You're no fun, Eddie.** Unable to see it, Eddie could _feel_ the pout he was receiving. **We agreed to be good, you useless sack of shi-”**

“I'm lots of fun.” Eddie protested with a goofy smile, interrupting the insult. “And if you behave tonight at this party i'll maybe let you put me a different costume when we come home.”

**The pussycat?**

“The pussycat.” Eddie confirmed. “You can put me in it and then,” he lowered his voice a notch, “take me out of it.”

As Eddie projected some very explicit images through their shared bond, a growl which was borderline animalistic erupted from his throat and he smirked at how easy his partner was to tease.

“But _only_ if you behave.” He repeated.

**I _always_ behave when you ask me. Most of the time.**

Prodding his own chest with an accusatory finger, Eddie wasn't to be fooled.

“You're a goddamn liar, Ven.”

The rough chortle which met his accusation was as good a confession as any and Eddie shook his head fondly at the shenanigans as he started off in search of a clean, white shirt within the mess of the room.

 


End file.
